Vegeta's Bachelorhood
by Vincent Loneheart
Summary: Vegeta takes a lot of crap at home, and decides to have a little 'Guy-Time' ^_^


Vegeta's Bachelorhood-  
By Vincent Loneheart  
  
Trunks flying home after a day in kindergarten. Well...he was being accompanied by his teacher...and the principal...and a few angry mothers. Just before the principal was about to bang the door down, Trunks stopped him. "Hey, you don't know my mom...just gimme a minute and she'll be out here okay?" Reluctantly, they let him go inside first.   
  
"Hey mom, I'm home." Bulma greeted him in her usual manner....  
"Trunks, go upstairs and get changed out of your school clothes this instant! And wash your hands, they look dirty!!!"  
"Umm...mom...?"  
"I SAID THIS INSTANT!!!" Trunks bolted up the stairs quicker than Goku to a hot dog stand. He took off his school uniform and put on his usual fighting/lounging gear. He went into the bathroom and began to wash the dirt from off his hands. His hands were especially dirty today, and thankfully his mom didn't ask why.  
  
Walking down the stairs he was horrified to see that the principal and the rest of the mob had already came inside. He watched from behind the rail as Bulma's expression changed from clueless, to confused, to angry, to ready-to-tear-the-life-out-of-something. Trunks say that she had left the day open, and not being the wuss that Gohan used to be, he decided his best option was to get the hell outta there! But before he could get out of the door, he heard Bulma's yell:  
"TRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNKSS!!!!" Trunks quickly landed on the ground and began to whistle innocently whilst leaning against a wall... "WHY HAVE YOU BEEN FIGHTING IN SCHOOL!!?!?" She charged up to him, with a fiery passion in her eyes.   
"Umm...well..."  
"HMM!? YOU'D BETTER ANSWER ME!!"   
"Well...erm..." Trunks knew that the fight pretty much started out of boredom, but he knew that wouldn't fly, so he had to make something up fast... "Well...mom...this kid started really dissing you and daddy! He was like, really talking bad about you, and I couldn't let him get away with saying bad things about my mommy!!!" Bulma knew Trunks was lying by the pathetic attempt at an innocent grin.   
"That's right. Nobody messes with your mommy!" Bulma had calmed down sufficiently to play along.  
"Right!"  
"GET TO YOUR ROOM!!!!"  
"Wah!?" Obviously 'sufficient' wasn't quite the word I was looking for...  
  
Bulma dismissed all of the people in her living room, and sat on the couch waiting for Vegeta to come back from his job hunt. He came through the door though with his suit burnt and torn pretty badly. "Hey! What happened to you!?"  
"Ermmm...aaah..." Vegeta was in a bind...time to pull out the old Saiyan charm... "The guy who was interviewing me was a real jerk! He starting saying such bad things about you, and I couldn't let anyone say such bad thinngs about my dear onn...erm...I mean, Bulma!" Bulma's eyes narrowed on the Saiyan prince.   
"So you're the one who taught Trunks to sweet talk huh?"  
"I have no idea what you are talking about!" Vegeta did his best to act clueless, and even tried to use his 'innocent grin'.   
"Grrr....Vegeta...your son has been getting into fights at kindergarten...they say it's because he lacks a strong father figure in his life..."  
"What do you mean!? I'm always here!"  
"You hardly spend any time with him! You need to teach him some manners!"  
"Do you honestly believe that I am the right person to do THAT!?"  
"Vegeta..." Bulma looked a little upset and sat down on the couch. Vegeta dropped his guard, but that gave enough time for Bulma to connect with an uppercut. "YOU GET UP TO YOUR SON'S ROOM THIS INSTANT!!!"  
"But...Bulma...?"  
"I SAID THIS INSTANT!!!"  
  
Vegeta had had enough. AFTER he had been to see his son, done the laundry, cooked dinner and fixed the plumbing, he snook out of the house and flew away. "No onna is going to be telling me what to do!"  
"Hey Vegeta, what's up?"  
"Kakarot!? What are you doing here!?!?" He hadn't seen his rival Saiyan to the left of him, and was shocked that his escape had been foiled so quickly.  
"Oh, I'm just here, fishing with my son Goten, you know...doing the father and son thing."  
"Yeah...that's great Kakarot..."  
"I mean...boooooy is this boring! I got told today that Goten had been caught fighting with this other kid, no-one told me his name, but they were just doing it because they were bored. Apparently the class hamster got pretty fried... So now I gotta be spending more time with him."  
"That's....awful Kakarot...."  
"Not really...I get to spend some more time with my son. You know, aren't kids just the best."  
"I..." Vegeta was interupted by Goten, who had just flew up from the river to give his daddy a hug.   
"I love you so much daddy!!!" Vegeta was speechless, and as he say the two go back down to the river...together...hand-in-hand...together...he just looked down at the floor...feeling sad...  
"Oh what am I doing!? I'm the Prince of Saiyans, not Kakarot!"  
  
Vegeta went into a bar, where he sat down next to this stunning young lady, with long red hair. "Oh hi there!"  
"................" Vegeta ignored her.   
"I SAID HI THERE!!!"  
"Huh!?"  
"Hi!"  
"Oh...hi."   
"I'm Conchita. You're a cute one!" Vegeta ordered in his drink, but despite his best efforts to the contrary, he had to keep talking to the little red head. He had found that she was a Saiyan also. Despite the impossibility of such an occurance, with them all being dead and stuff...for the sake of the story it's true.   
  
"So...you wanna go and destroy a village or something?" Vegeta was shocked at her question, but feeling a little bored took her up on the offer. So they went and found a nice little village and destroyed it pretty easily without much of a fuss from the villagers. However, Vegeta looked down upon a woman who was running from them...she had shiny, long green hair... He watched her pick up her son and try to run away. But Conchita stopped her and killed her before his eyes.   
"Sigh..." Conchita brushed a little dirt off of her hands and looked at the downtrodden Saiyan prince.  
"What's the matter?"  
"Nothing....I'm just tired..."  
"Well I'm not! Let's go destroy another one! Preferably something a little bigger...like a city."  
"You mean...you don't want to go somewhere and snuggle...?"  
"Ha! Snuggling's for wimps!!! I certainly don't do that!"  
"No...snuggling...?"  
"No way! I'm gonna rule the world! We could do it together! Side-by-side!"  
"......................"  
  
Vegeta sent her to the next dimension and took off for home. "Ha! You are not worthy of ruling this universe with me..." He arrived home and it was as if he had never left. Bulma looked up and saw that he was dirty, and told him to get upstairs to take a shower. Coming back down the stairs, he grabbed Bulma by the hands and got down on his knees.   
  
"Vegeta, Prince of all Saiyans, do you take this woman as your lawfuly wedded wife?"  
"Yes."  
"Will you love her, in sickness, and in health?"  
"Yes..."  
"Will you love her, through good times, and through bad?"  
"Uh....huh...." ^_^*  
"Will you love her, honour her, and obey her for as long as you both shall live?"  
"UUUARRGGHHH WHAT'S WITH THESE STUPID QUESTIONS!?! I ALREADY SAID YES!!!!"  
  
_________________________________________________________________  
  
Can you say dumb? This is...well... I was just thinking about stuff that Fifi Ho was saying...and I just kinda came up with this rubbish. Meh... =\ 


End file.
